where LovE BeComes MiRaCle..

An old man

2011-11-13T08:15:00.002+08:00

Years Back

2011-08-26T23:36:00.002+08:00

I read my previous posts on 2004. 2004 is like my 19 years old. N i am now 26. so 7 years to be counted, and still counting.

It is all my polytechnic school life, the boring poly school life, seriously when i read about my this n that during those years, like works, complaints etc. I felt tt i am just a fool. someone whom neglect studies yet proud to scold the school.

Maybe those were the days when i tend to have more freedom. a freedom that made me nearly failed my life.

the days when i didnt take good care on myself, and had bad company and the most lousiest academic result i ever had.

I always pon ten school, den learnt stupid things etc etc.

I dun like to talk about my poly life cannot tt will the grey side in my life, had myself to be compare by stupid ppl, stupid ppl whom didnt even have anything to be compae with me, yet corky. waste of yr time.

but i am happy with what i have now. thanks to god for loving me.

Back again

2011-08-26T23:23:00.004+08:00

Today I am on my first day of MC. or rather 2nd day - excluding the operation day.

Yes, i had an operation. a Minor yet painful experience for me. I never had in my life, being poked so many times / day.

Nevertheless, the lump is out. My mouth looks prettier from what i can see. hee hee, as in the lump is gone.

Next is my braces, it will be a pain and expensive experience, but i wanna push down my teeth very very very long ago. I dun wan to get laughter from ppl anymore. Most of all is my smile in my bridal photos. hee hee

Hmm didnt blog for almost 2 years, but i will start to come back here again. cause here have all my good memories.

A New Year Mood!!

2010-01-30T23:33:00.005+08:00

Went to JB with Jocey tonight. haha. we intend to each 50dollars each initially, ended up spending more than SGD100, dunno whether they are worth anot.

Spending RM70 on my special and first in my life - pedicure with nails arts. Pedicure RM35 plus Nail Arts RM35. haha, with my lovely, violet purple flower design..

Nice??

RM 50 on the Dou Sa Pin for Jackie & me.

Hair Pin & belt from Chamelon

My CNY gift from Jackie's Parents at RM38.90 (haha but i told jackie i am spending RM88 for it) shhh...

RM26.90 on a without sugar Choco Cookie..

Had a Heavy lunch at the Kim Gary Noodle. the food wasnt nice after all, Love the dinner at O Town Cafe. Only for the Curry Rice, not the Ipoh Hor Fun SPecially recommended by EIleen...

Most of all, My Two Set of CD for PhotoShop and FrontPage. Although the FrontPage is only 2003. But is it the Best of all which is only RM 8. Better than Nth.. Isnt It?

This year, After my Shanghai(JiangNan) Tour, today is another day i tend to spend alot on everything. Okay it is Still Jan, as what i can say.. I will stop my spree now.. Start Saving. see Jocey has been saving and not me. I only depend on the Bonus and tt isnt right stuff to do....

I couldnt just save per year and tt it..

My Shanghai Trip

2010-01-20T22:57:00.002+08:00

After 8 years, 31st Dec 2009, my first footprint on China - Shanghai interenational Pudong Airport.

It is almost 2 weeks, yet i wished i am still there.
I dunno whether it is a relieve or regret. A guy i hope to see dreadly for 8 years appeared in front of me. but the feeling wasnt there anymore.

first of all, i need to thank jackie - cause I knew he knew my purposes of going china. and there, he plays the best part as my boyfriend.

the guy i wanna see/dreamt isnt seemed like the guy i knew of 8 years ago. Because everyone is changing, including me. but my sadness is he didnt show any sincerity upon my arrival to shanghai. i insist of meeting him up on the first day and grated enough I had it.

Exam Time

2009-04-29T01:41:00.001+08:00

Hurray... Time really flies... =in e midst of my examination..
and now is the 3rd sem... going to graduate soon..
Claire Buck Up@!@@@@

Jealousy

2009-04-21T22:49:00.001+08:00

I think that I have suffered jealousy at this moment. I see from his facebook and saw her gf. Omg, the first photo I saw is a girl in her drunken state, hairs covered face, lying on the sofa. Okay I believed she will be someone more gentle. And maybe good looking. Oh gosh, I dunno whether it is because I am too jealous(ok-no rite to jealous) or either I just couldn’t believed that it was his gf… I totally dunno what wrong with his taste. I believed tt it will took him a long time to call me. but I wont ever meet him up again.) I am just someone hidden in his car, and den she…. (girl, get smart now. Forget and go on) dun neglect yrself.

Blogging Again

2009-04-21T22:48:00.000+08:00

I would like to blog again. Cause I assume here is somewhere I can tell my sorrows. Actually I have no much sorrows, all the unhappiness were brought on my wills. For the past yrs, I think almost 2 yrs, I am meddling in a midst of scandalize games with him. Currently from the mouth of his cousin, I managed to know that he got a gf. Let call this guy, A. I been in this game for almost 2 yrs, it is a on n off sessions, actually not scandal cause we didn’t go out at all, just to a room to “release” stress. it is vry stupid rite, what is the difference between chick n sex scandal. And I always think that sex scandal are short-term and won’t last more than 6 mths, and this is lasting for so long. Throughout the periods, I just dunno why I don’t bear to give up, I think neither he will. Cause we been saying wanna give up for so many times, knowing tt this isn’t right to do so. But cant I consider tt tis is very addictive? Simply I don’t think this consists any love. Oh, cause I been with Jackie for so long, and knowing I wont have giving up anything for this. Likely, he is attached currently. And can see he is a responsible bf. I am jealous cause I been “liking” him for so long, yet he got someone else. Stop! Wait a moment.. liking him? Actually it is a very contradicting topic, maybe I can say we are addictive to each other’s sex. But he is commenting my fats and i am complaining his small dick.

Years...

2009-04-09T19:52:00.002+08:00

haha.. chatting with leo today, and realised that i haven been blogging for years. took a glance, to venuslove-miracle.blogspot.com. it is all fears within me... i am aged. 24 this year. starting blogging since 2004 and now it is 2009.. 5 years back... took a few minutes to look through what i am written.. haha.. young is good.

so with past yrs resolutions what i have fulfiled. I think my poor english is "deterioating" did i got the word correct? nvm, there are rooms to improve. okay back to the main question. MY resolution:

haha..
(1) slimming down - Failed
(2) pursue my diploma and degree -(yap!!, going to complete this yr)
(3)my long-waiting driving lesson - (haha, first attempt made it dated 11th Mar 2008.

Okay since like i gotta work harder for my slimming programme le.

I never knew that i have so much money last time. Now no more - My degree took me 17k le.

I am still with him, my jackie.
4yrs plus. but tell me tt i am in hottest date and abandon my blog.
No. these years i realised.. Numerous items. Blogging is important.. Cause I can review what is wrong and right after years.

(okay i am in SIM now..) go home and continue... my poor english.

Roller Blade

2007-03-26T14:00:00.000+08:00

Lolx, My toopid inspiration leads me to “severe” buttock-aches. Just bought my blades on last sat, enthuse myself to start learning blade from now. I am those whom tend to give up thing easily. But promise this time, I must know how to blade. Keep falling down ytd, and got a very bad buttock-ache. Haha, however from this I learn how to fall. Falling in the proper way is a form of playing blades. Haha, I kept reminding myself that I should fall, and persevere. However, the fall is bad and having a very bad sleep posture. I learn to fall after that. Instead of falling from the back, I should make my way to the front. It is better to dirty my hands than aching. However, falls are uncontrollable. Nope. It took a half-sec to fall, and a sec to get the person to know he/she is falling. So, if imbalance occurred, think of a best posture to fall within that sec. I am delighted to took up something to learn now. Instead of Japanese Lessons, I exercise my body too. Instead of feeling tired after the vigorous exercises, I am proactive now. Now feeling tired at all. Buck up, cLAIRE….. I know you can make it.

Suddenly feeling my life spark at this moment. Papa said that when a person is free, they will think a lot, think nothing but exotic. So, how do I classified myself? Engross in Taiwan series- hua yang shao nan shao nu. Later want go to Bugis SIM LIM SQUARE to buy empty cd-r too. Hmm, my life is so shiny, so what toopid thing can meddle me..

Girl Is a Sin

2007-03-26T13:56:00.001+08:00

Everyone seemed to be cork in the genie’s bottle by the name Dr. Love. What is love? I used to think that love is the most wonderful thing in the world. Ever heard of this “I am willing to die for u!” I believed that is never hard to hear among us youngsters.
Please face the realism. I am sorts in tragic last year too, the naives make me facing problems, drain myself down, and simply create the funniest joke for 2006. Through the pains, I discovered the next stage of my life. There are many other things to achieve than slacking your time planning for the guy. I am totally frustrated. If you are my friend, you wouldn’t be stopping me to do whatever hogging my personal life. I used to be a clubber, smoker, player, shopper, and a bitch. I am bitch, if I want to. I can play around, if you want me to. What do I achieve at the end of the day? Singing with boys, well I can sing with my boyfriend. When I am drunk, my bf will get me home safely. I had everything in prefect, what more I can ask? Please don’t get myself involve with lunation. To be frank, we are living in a different background. I might not be that rich, classy or “whatever-high-class” words to describe, but I live in a happy family from then till now. I am with everything now! And that is a disgrace to get myself involve in those materialism. Perhaps, you might category that lifestyle as a boring one, but that is what I wished to have. It is like-meeting up with friends but wise friends. Wise friends whom love you, and won’t lead you to that path of life where they are in need of “despo” man, money, greed and lust. This isn’t despising. It is like different status, and now maybe only Eileen and Jackie might fit in. Jackie, I can see he is trying hard to improve himself for the sake of mine. Trust me!! Well, that includes Xian Ying, although we seldom contact, she is a trustworthy person too. Maybe I can say only ambitious one can be my friends. Sorry to say so. I hate to listen friends whom tell me how sad they are over the “dunno-who-body” guy, over their sensual body figure. Come-on, to live with confidence is where you can show your grace, intelligence and elegance come from your minds. Not figures!

Hard Earn Money

2007-03-26T13:36:00.000+08:00

Haha, Ytd was on MC so managed to change my blog template. Been sleeping the whole day, exhausted, sick and dying. Just got my salary, and it is hard to believe that I only left with 200 to survive for the next whole month. It is not because I am buying expensive stuff etc. I guessed it is due to too much commitments. Commitments in financial status, I got to pay insurance for a month of 130++, give my parents 250++, and saving up to 400++. It is all due to hard-earned money, hard earned commitment. No choice, I guessed now what I can pleased myself is to see how much money I could save by the end of the year to review my hard-earned money.

I cant hangover anymore

2007-03-26T13:35:00.001+08:00

Last Friday went to ktv @ civic centre(woodlands). The KTV session is rather a not bad one. However, the craggy overtime mahjong leading me to the saggy status and overnight-immediate black rings. It is true I can’t hang over anymore. No longer! I wasn’t longer to those “choingster”. I can’t get used to hang out late with weiling when I was young. In fact, the “young” period is over. My life now, is a sweet and typical office administrator. A regular, 8.30 to 6 (5 work weekdays), motives of the day is to sleep early, preserve a good look to work, no more “hang-over”, and more “hangout”. It is sad to say, youth life is always better. No neglecting, no fear, no might and no “problems”. It is like what weiling is having now, she can just afford to sleep late, hangout late, mahjong till night. But I cant, just simply cant. Last time, I don’t like to hang-out with ppl whom is so “homely”, sleep exactly at the dots of mid, “boring” lifestyle. Now, I am one of them, it is like when weiling jio me to go clubbing on this coming Friday, I do have so many thoughts. Thinking of the pros & cons of the chill-out session, thinking whether I can afford for the bill? Haha! It is true, now I rather prefer to spend my money on simple foods, and clothing, and shoes. It is wrong too, the long-standing shopping lead my pocket to get burnt. However, this appendage lead me to a more happier status. Clubbing-dancing seducing in the dance stage- is totally out of my boundaries. However, the complaint of no-clubbing doesn’t lead me to a extended boring, cum no life-style life. I do love to sing, I love singing but got hard thing recognizing the words. Nevertheless, I still like singing. Next is Malaysia. I love to go into Malaysia during my weekend and enjoyed the fast speed up to 160km/h, feeling the cool-air brushing through me. It is an extreme-dangerous game. This game held the matter of life and death, and I do plan for holiday trips. Maybe a Thailand trip but no Malaysia trip anymore unless to my favorite place- petaling street. Next year, I will go Taiwan and that is my promise. So, I don’t see the clubbing outcast my life to be a beautiful and prefect one. Instead, I suggest it as a typical social-escort lifestyle. I will only view myself as a low-down body as I got to downcast my life in such a way. Tones of liquor will only weaken my livers and shagging my wrinkles. No way! Now I knew what I want for the near future. Cannot neglect my life to that anymore…

the wrong people..

2007-03-26T13:32:00.000+08:00

Start to realize something, something I can pronounced it as a bad or good experience. I don’t really get to think that Michelle is using me? Using me in what way? I possessed nothing for her to use me. I found that the major reason is because of my bad mouth. I start off the bad-month her, as in I am very angry about how she treat me. This reason makes people to think of my crappy weakness, weak and bullied by her. Actually I am the one whom create a scene, a scene which held for audience to make stupid comments. Both of us had our mistakes and I knew about it is always “a hand will never create a clap”. Michelle is a friend of mine whom I cherish her but can’t accept her way. I guessed that we should communicate more to know each other’s weakness. It is really my fault, my fault as in I am the one whom spread my anger to ppl.

It is like I am searching for some angles to bounce my anger, but in the fuzzy end result.

planning

2007-03-26T12:34:00.000+08:00

Yah, finally make the decision to go Thailand by this MAY. Actually, my urge of getting the Taiwan (Taipei) is at the extreme. After the plus-minus calculation made, I decided to go Taiwan next year. Supposed if I will be going this year, I wouldn’t be going next year. This selfish thought will lead the Eileen’s long and dragging nags. So, stick to the plan for going to Thailand first.

Getting very happy! Treat this as a short and sweet pre-coming Happy Birthday treats. This should be fun.

Actually, one implies to the matter of teamwork or my iciness personalities! This is again a two-man tour holiday. But it is freakily, I don’t wan my trip to be gone to waste again for any other conflict factors.

My main motive is to shop, shop and shop!!!!! Miss my KL trip last year. However, if I am going to Thailand this year, I will mainly be enjoying my sight-seeing of the nobilities of the well-famous status of Buddha. So, wear nice, nice!!! Search for some photo-gallery for my port-folio too. Live-message and spa bathing are the enjoyable part, I am aiming for.

May God bless my trip will be a fantastic one.

KTV NIght changed my thoughts

2007-03-19T14:07:00.000+08:00

Naiveness

2007-03-13T12:11:00.000+08:00

Have been started to update frequently. One of the major reasons is having exceeding free time. If I can use the working hours to learn and study for my jap language, preparing my lyrics, read storybooks, I will see myself hitting the extreme of fullness. I had stressed myself to study and doing those things (song lyrics) during my off-days. But I just simply can’t afford to drag myself to be that active. I would complain that off-day shouldn’t work out so much. I should have rest myself enough. This makes me to slack myself down the whole weekend. Life is so tense up. My day of 9 ½ Hours are spending in work, so if the writing and studies could be done during that moment, my free-time could be done in ultimate.

Have to meeting up friends (long lost friends) recently. Haha!! Friends are important too, especially good ones.

Currently, the topics of “Boys and Guys” are in hot. Is it because I am getting tired of the topics, when I used to be one? Or girls are getting desperate in ways? It is like some girls are pregnant, married or attached at this age, where you are still single or wandering around? If this is so, I guess only Mr. Fate to answer for everyone’s doubts. Sometimes, I really can’t stand Michelle. She can always live in her la la land, and announced the sweetness of it without shame. She is the only one I believe whom told me, she is willing to die in the hands of her beloved. Naïve? Lack of love? Psycho? Girls, please dun watch too much Taiwan series. It will affect u in that result. The ugly duckling will meet her charming prince-handsome, intelligent, genies, tall, cool, charisma. Lolx, it is ridiculous. Maybe I will find my guy whom I can accept his flaws and strengths. That is my Mr. Right. Admiring girls hanging out with handsome guys? You might not know what prices the girl will price for that date. Used to dream for my guy, and met him before- but no fate. Sorry! So, now for me guys are not important because I had met mine? Or I could say a guy whom can stand my flaws.

Marriage? Haha!! Maybe to me, money would be more important. I would save up to 30k before my marriage. Oohs, forgotten! This coming March’s salary I will hit up our first 10k. I planned to open a UOB account for our next 10k. As for my education I planned it on next yr, 2008 Jul intake.. Eileen persuades me to study first, but the doubt is I want to enjoy first. With my Claire’s theories, I think spreading my vision/goals up, allowing my targets to be easily hit. 2010 to my degree, and 2012 to my driving lesson. You see, if I accumulate everything together, after my 30s, what things I can do? I don’t want to work, work, work and slogging. Holidays every year!!!

Haha!! I too wrote down my 30 criteria for my ideal hubbyà just wrote. Perhaps this will lead me to perfection or my entire opinion will change.

Life is just a gimmick!

2007-03-11T18:09:00.000+08:00

life is like a cross-pathway which leads you to any directions. a Direction which brings you to miracle- or either a direction which brought u to hell. Ones got to choose your path of life properly. properly as in choosing things without regretting. traps are set in anywhere, any places, or anyone. I cant blame the one whom brought me to the deception, i should cast the blame on myself where I didnt thought the flaws and strengths. @22 this year. what commitments i had engaged to allow traps to be set around me? too many to recall i guessed. so, should I wear up my protective gloves against everyone whom tried to shake their hands with me. Life is so realistic, and decieving. to be respect by everyone, it is not because of their talents. it is due to their status symbols. " even a crooked professor trying to experiment a innocent dog, everyone clapped for his profession/skills/and discoveries. "

Guys are the toxics that kill every single women. this world is a men' realm. please girls to prevent distress, stay away from them.

Meaningful Life

2007-03-08T17:51:00.001+08:00

I should have listened to Jackie’s advice. I always treat his advice as nothing, and not even to be concerned. Always corrected his good social ethic to the meaning under “hypocrites”, supposedly to be what the real definite social attitude but I had classified him as a fake one. Mr. Goh always me to understand the meaning of life, but I just simply judged him as a moron - A guy whom knew nothing but full of craps.

Till day, I realized why and what he meant so. Updating my enemies list aren’t the proud sorts however the result would be different if I will be able to make friends and understand your enemies’ well- I would ever accept this psychology of being fakery friendly. It is wrong. Everyone is wearing a mask, a mask which we got to wear it from the moment our eyes were wide. Soon out later, it is a part of us, we can’t live without it. Since everyone is wearing that mask, why dun we just shake our hands, loved it as well as playing around with it. I always want to live without my mask because I don’t want to face people-so fake, so ‘accept me for who I am’. The very next second, I thought why not living with a mask but with the truth of mine.

Haha! I finally realized the real meaning of the above. I need not to be that ‘fake’ like Michelle ‘act to be stupid, plus so friendly to attract funny attentions’. Wear a pairs of protective gloves against the people but with your smart ways to guide and study people’s mind. It is common and the best way to know a person’s further. Talk less, use brain.

2007-03-06T13:51:00.001+08:00

Sad to say, I really have no extra time to update my blog. However, it is a surprise when I say I am so free to wonder my mind about. Suppose to be preparing for almost everything, I thought it should be very meaningful to have my life occupies, with lesson, theories, and books. To me, Books are the most wonderful essential item which leads u/me to the knowledge of wisdom. But everything comes to a stop now. Where is my 18 books for the year, I had only read 2 books so far, and my Japanese language lesson, I had not been attending for 3 weeks. Dun care, today must go.

Wat a person I am? A stupid cum naïve girl, or a girl with high ambition waiting upon the fulfillment. I know what I want for the near future, but am I able to establish my steps to reach the earnest of my goals. Just nw, Michelle told me that the immigration has notified her for the swearing to be a certified citizen or she can only holding a visitor pass in SG. Guessed what she told me? She waiting for her jia hao to give her an answer whether to stay or leave. Well, I can't accept that thinking up to the extreme. One's responsibility to hold their future, and not depend on other's thought. Even the guy love you, he can't have the responsibility to decide for you. That is not the matter of bad/good guy, he was. A good man wouldn’t decide for you, because he knows the definition of freedom, and priority. I guessed that I had depended on my bf too much till I had forgotten the feeling for cracking up my brain. I always want to get a guy whom love, care and plan for me, and that is the stupidest way to sort a relationship. I always want a dream guy whom fit in every criterion I hoped. Remember Kenneth said, "Claire had high expectation on her bf, and it is always not prefect guy" Now I know the meanings. It is not only SG guys, I can see all Guys under the gravitational force of the earth are too. The best is to find a guy that suits my perfection.

I believed I had learnt the definition of independence. I want to enjoy myself to its fullness for my 2007, and back to school in my 2008. Well, enjoyed well for 2008. Ok!

I had a wish for this year. I want to go for a holiday on my birthday period. I thinking of going to HK or Malaysia for my Andy Lau's Concert. Haha!!

My Birthday is coming.. 8th July 2007!! This year I must enjoyed myself, no more BBQ or Chalet, or any drinking session. I want holiday.

2007-03-06T13:51:00.000+08:00

Resolution for my 2007

2007-02-03T22:50:00.000+08:00

All about me..

established since 2004, it then offically closed down. Since the Stupid blogger.com cant be accessed in my office(I am spending almost more than 10 hours a day, enclosed myself into this stupid, four-walls)
I guessed this entry will be a long one. A introduction is alway a long one, i am sure of it.
Time is constraint. I better get myself up, and prepared of the frontline ahead. I promise that the slacking timing i spent for Jan were over.
2nd February'07. Resolution for 2007..
Since, unexpected events took over my prediction, and led me to nowhere situation. Now, i presumed my 2007 will be a better, and i promised tt will be a better one...
Targets set:
Read 18 books in this annum.(a 2 to 3 weeks time per book).
Get to learn my Japanese language well.
Save up to **k for my education by end of the calendar.
Be a full time Chinese-speaking, semi-full time English-speaking, and quartrum full-time Japanese speaking Person.
Spend Free time, to fullness instead of sleeping.
Buy new clothes to doll me up, while saving enough to see and dream of.
Visit Bangkok, China, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Korea, and Japan subsequently by years.
woah...
my Setbacks for 2006 is gone, and don't Remind me of that.
I think i Dun need Love, but wisdom, trust, and knowledge. As for Friendship, values the best but not all.
Be a Organised person. nevertheless, I am shitty Tired for relationship. and the mother-fucking shit commented,"claire, you become mature."
What the ass i thought of. I hate Stupid ass shit, commenting the dress i wore, the guys/girls i hang out with. the languages i used. My weakness is to be a soft ear person. Bad mistakes!!! Judgement lies on Wisdom, I will grasp. A Moron, haha...
My 2006, indeed, stuck with that Moron...
No One understood how i Felt, I am good in judgement, analysed characters. But they were lost..
My instincts leads me there, disasters cause them to go. With David, I tend to lead with maturity and its stopped somehow after he gone. Now, I discovered my confidences. I will bright them up, shine the crowd. and Love myself..
Hhaa

Well Done, Completed 1st Book: A DANGEROUS DRESS

2007-02-03T22:32:00.000+08:00

there are dresses, and then there are dangerous dresses....

Everyone knows dresses can be powerful things, For example, Cinderella's Fairy godmother gave her a beautiful dress, which empowered her to go to the ball... etc. My Grandmother's dress is powerful, and with all due respect to Cinderlla, it must have given my nineteen-year-old grandmother powers that would make a fairy godmother blush. Obviously, it gave her the power to show her skin and to make men swoon. But i think it also gave her the power to thik for herself. To vote. To drink. To shop... To make her own choices-- and her own mistakes. And last but not least, the power to have great love affairs. I don't know if my grandmother did all those things, and frankly, it's a little strange to think about her that way... But the fact that she had this amazing, adult, dangerous life....

If there's one dress that could make Jane Stuart think that anything is possible, it's her late grandmother's vintage 1920s Parisian dress. And when the fress becomes her ticket out of Kirland, Indiana, Jane takes her first tentative steps on her own reckless, passionate, and oh so dangerous adventure.

sick..

2007-01-30T17:45:00.000+08:00

indeed, i took a half leave., but spending most of my time waiting for ppl... Finally, got back my holder, and storybook.. haha.. (i cant stand my belongings with someone else, haha... kept msging him like i think i am mad..) haha.. hmm, i guessed he looks rather handsome, from far... haha.. tt is my first time, going to SMU, wow.. cool.. tt is good place to study.. it is a open-concept school, no gate.. like my RP lo..

Get be a little interested with him.... nt like/love but abit interested.., he is the one, i like to study on. study in personality and thinking concept. I can see, he is a nt bad fren...

gIrl Opened yr eyes bigger when u searching for a companion!??

2007-01-27T11:05:00.000+08:00

that is a mistake, i did for me, to do stupid thing with lawrence.

Well, i believed all of you can manage to see the end result of what is happening rite nw? he ignored mi, exclude me from his life. what i felt nw is actually, abandoned sad, and emotional. IT is because of him, but neither i could blame him.

initially, i can see he is a talk-corkster.. but i tried my ways manage to see him, meet him,, send dinner/lunch for him... and wat i got? nothing..

A Brand New Yr Again

2007-01-21T19:44:00.000+08:00

Hmm, Now, in the Brand new year..2007.. My Blog has been published since 2004.. 2004 till nw and will be continue to reveal my life again.. (but not as regular as before).. my Stupid act on Lawrence has stop, finally i realised i had wake up le.. My heart is still pain, but no choice. it has been a mistake since the start. however, this taught me a good lesson, not to be wild and stop neglect everything around mi. Being in this circumstance, Jackie is alway around me, his patience touches me, and lead me back where i suppose to be. Being in the martial status- SiNGLE, i tht i can just get along with what i could possess den. however, i tht taught me not to fallen in love so easily. or, i can say play along with the scandal game, when i cant afford to play. A year had gone. although, i keep complaining to him that how bad he cheated my money.. or watever, that disturb him. that is only to show him's my attention which i think he dun even bother to think of.

it is what called love. it is true. Love in this definition show, tt if one dun love that person, no matter how hard she tried, the guy will show nothing to react. cause he dun even love her, how could he cares about her feelings. the words LOVE, is easily to say but really difficult to show, at least, he/she love tt someone.

and that i believe, it is difficult to find a couple whom both are loving each other as much as they give. that happened to me, my life at the point of 21. I didnt blame him at all, cause i am the one whom start every nonsense in the first point. as for jackie, he really love me, but can say nt as much as i love lawrence. cause i am really give in..

Sorry god, i had learnt my lesson, and willing to learnt from there.

Please, allow my life for LAWRENCE, to stop. i can just allow myself to get a brand new life here... New year is coming, wooh..... I must get everything well up again...

God, love me, thank u

starting a new life on 15/9/06

2006-09-08T20:16:00.000+08:00

this month, 15, i will start my first full time job as a trading officer. currently, i believed that is a mixed feeling hiding in my stomach. through so many interviews, i chose and picked. finalised, I was selected by the TUAS POWER LTD, as a trading officer. this is my very first job, i am really scare. i dunno how m i going to survive in that new environment? am i able to cope with the new working environment, am i able to make it through to my succeed.

My Dreams and goals; how am i going to cope in order to succeed well..

I am starting off my life later than what i suppose to be, my first job at 21.. this will not allow me to be left out in this society.

As the stupid jack say, his ex will able to succeed and working through at least 5 years more than me, well, hers is only 1 year older than me. but i would prove him that my value would be much higher than hers..

how? i must went through every polities and cursing they give to succeed well in life.

feeling goes the wrong way

2006-08-08T20:20:00.000+08:00

finally, i had told him. I gonna give up because i cant neglect my bf anymore. I alway dunno where i am in his heart. A begger, A Joker, A Nice Girl Or His Beloved. To me, i seemed to be a Slut. A person whom supposed in be ashamed of. Last Sat, when KTV with him. He Sings really well, his every emotion, and look was kept deeply in my heart. I requested and wanted to sings with him again and again, finally after 8 mths. i got my chances again. but i didn't make tt night a happy moments. Everyone dun dare to sing at all, except him. maybe he is confident with his singing. I am joker den... singing with shits and amused by everyone. His Birthday, i really got him presents with my thoughts, and tt is all with hearts and love. When ai hui ask me what my bf said. He looks weird. and cool. he seemed to be odds throughout the night. perhaps, i think too much..

The last stage of my youth teenage life.

2006-07-26T16:44:00.000+08:00

1 month left to graduation.. (perhap not, might be gonna fail for my module again)

life seemed to be in a much deeper state of problematic adult

2006-07-18T01:36:00.000+08:00

Upload music at Bolt.

after my 21st birthday///

2006-07-18T01:30:00.000+08:00

life seemed to be the same as before, but holding a bigger responsibility in hand than before. why everyone does have the needs to grow... if i will to choose, i rather stay on my 16...

celebrating my 21st birthday with eileen at west coast park... the bbq held was rather memorable... hope that moments do last me till the end...

thank dear dear, for my 21st birthday present. he got the hint for getting me a camera... haha i did hinted him, and of course.. he bought it.. my samsung A50... i love it alot...

it will bring me around, and kept all sorta photo, at every single moment of my youth...

really over budget for my month.. got to start saving from now..

i Dun wan to being Used by u once again.

2006-04-19T16:08:00.000+08:00

i found that i am stupid to involve too much with those stupid ppl. why i wanna give myself in so much effort, while he/she didnt even make the effort to cherish me.

first, i had a good bf whom loved me so much, but i didnt ever make my effort to love him. however tt stupid lawrence whom came across my life, that turned me to a fool. michelle, say it is foolish, but she encouraged me to do so, but she says love is blinds. but as a girl, we must protect ourselves to get our love being pampered

why am i so stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-04-19T12:44:00.000+08:00

i had secretly in fond with a guy, however, i knew that that wun be able to come to realistic, so forget about it.

he say that i am those types of gurl, whom easily fall in love with any guy as long as they treat me good. but.. am i the one, i am nt sure.. last monday, i saw LAWRENCE at CCK, Lot 1 with 1 girl, the one whom MIchelle dislikes. why he is with her, am i a better one for him. since then, i know he wasnt the one i can accept, i will rather say a " stop" to him... he always took me out of grudges. i hate it.

NOW, i SHould be faithful to my hubby..(my teddy bEar).

Stop ALLL LOve Stories ANd xpected to work hArDer

this guy of my life

2006-03-25T01:58:00.001+08:00

my first impression of this guy is very normal. he is just another guy who happen to hang around bugis and there is where we met. he is my friend's crush, so of course my impression of him wasnt that important, cause he is attached to someone.

at that moment, my feeling fell into the desperation, my boyfriend of that time, was going to left me for his education., and he left on 17th feb, 2005

everyone commented that he is a extreme guy that treat his gf damn good and he is a guy full of secure and love. with these words of ensurance, we began our relationship. i didnt love hs that much. intially perhap that moment, i just felt lonely.

in tim, he treated me good, showered me with care and love. we too planned to save. he treated me very good, however i alway doubt whether he is the guy i want.

he is a really good guy, i dun meant to hurt him. we built up our bonds feelings and family ties, so i dont bear to give up any hopes.

i should stop myself for anyone cuase i love him too, although not much.

but he is someone whom loved me more than anyone.

this guy of my life

2006-03-25T01:58:00.000+08:00

绝口不提爱你

2006-03-17T01:47:00.000+08:00

闭上眼睛忍住呼吸暂时要和世界脱离就快要学会不再想你却听见不断跳动的心我允许了你让爱的自由还给你我允许了自己承受这悲伤到天明我不愿放弃却要故意默默允许我答应自己爱你的心绝口不提总是以为终究化作云淡风轻爱你到底痛了自己我不愿放弃却要故意默默允许我答应自己爱你的心绝口不提所有结局在这夜里都已成形爱到了底痛的是我的真心

finally

2006-03-13T02:50:00.000+08:00

life, seemed to be entering another phrase of my life. what am i going to face? work, stress or tireness. i am rather a aimless without any life goals. my life seemed to stop here, and slower in pace for my repeated modules. the wastage of six months lead me to no where. my first ever repeated course for me. although the attaak in sec 1, leads me to normal (acad).. but this repeated module had set me aside.

what should i do for these days?

the perfume job has lead me to a lower status, where everyone is competing for nothing? Aimless goal>? Aimless Hope...? i had no ideas, how my future goes?

the education for my diploma has wasted?

i hoped No..

1 year le

2006-02-27T01:23:00.000+08:00

time flies... it has been a year le. everything seemed to be fine and not changing den.

Life really Stressed Up

2006-02-24T14:04:00.000+08:00

I am Now searching for my new working environment, while repeating my modules. I would like to get more challenging working experience to cope with my work.

So, i told Michelle that i am searching for other jobs. but what remarks she gives me werent that safisated. I am Poorly Searching for good jobs, but since i had sent out more than 10 resumes but none had ever reply me. still searching non-stop.

shouldnt i go for the interview later. well, i think i should. even this job didnt suit me, or they might not recruit me, but i had tried. now, i am just going down for the interview but not any recruitment. so, why m i panic? i should go now later, and if they really recruited me, then i considered, i shouldnt considered, where, when and the convenient time.

cause this job is the only company replied me? :(

Is searching for new jobs that difficult?

upon the graduation date.

2006-02-17T13:01:00.000+08:00

i would just treat that i am graduating in 2 weeks times, cause i just dun wan to waste my time for the next on-coming 6 months. so, NOW is where i should plan upon my short-term career planning for the next 6th months. life and time seemed to be waste off just like this. though, i dun wan it to go like this, now the only way to pursue is to make full use for my left-over days upon the full graduation in 6 mths time.

should i quit eve's job and seek for other temp jobs to enhance my adaption for my career and gain more experiences, or continue to work for eve, and slog like hell and earn an amount of sum before things can be pursued.

so, what should i do?

My planning, is

after this 2 weeks, i will continue to work for eve, and work for about 4 or 5 days per week.

save about up to $400 per month, transportation $100, spend $10 per day, and hp bills - $50-

signed up for japanese class per mth $50..

a basic for $900 per mth.

=========================================================

how to cut off on spendage...

quit smoking... within this 2 weeks.. when school closed..
limit on supper..
entertainment- 2 per month

===========================================

How to go on diet-
breakfast- a simple meal- 3.50 buck (between 9 to 10 am)
lunch - 4.50buck. (2 to 3 pm.)
dinner- small-option ( 2bucks)

drink more water....

good-foods- once per month.

=================================================
Aim to slim down=-

by 6-june-- slim down to 60 kg. no pills..

if hungry, drink yogurt, and meal-replacement.

total- money spendage=- 1000per mth... min- 100 entertainment.

what i want to be?

2006-02-07T09:27:00.000+08:00

whatever, i did ytd is so stupid. just another fucking"idiotic" pig to describe me... Because... well michelle knew it.

I fall into a crush with this guy, however.. i dun wan to.. we used to meet up late in night and chat. his charisma attracted me. initially, when i just chat with this guy thr phone, i find that he is really sucks. the only bullshit things he comments, was not convincing. he is trying to get a girl, into" a la la land" but in no vail. the only sentence i can describe him is "urgh! sucks!"... However in time, my feeling getting stronger. when he sang, he really look so handsome. however, i am attached with a cute guy for a year. he is the one whom treat mi very good, so definitely i wun be ditching him for that bastard. so, i started up with my FUCKING plan to break up that " crush" relationship. i want him to hate me, so if to get me off his life, and out of my life. although, my mouth forced me to say out, my heart tht of different way.

in time, i started to behave in this stupid weird way, well.. is this me. i dun think so.. or i am just another girl whom cant handle love. my over-possessiveness had overtake me to make me felt like a fool.

well, wat took place ytd, isnt wat i expected initally. shouldnt that be wat i want, den why it turn out to be something bad and really hurt my heart. what i felt now, is pain.

:. rmb tt lance.. is it the only way for me to forget the guy i crushed on, by letting him to forbid me and annoyed, and within 2 weeks i will forget him. once again.

isnt this an insult to me.

well, actually i should be appreactice wat lawrence give me from that to now. cause i felt my over-demanding should have forced him down the drain long ago. but now.. things pushed to this way, i should accepted nth.

just wanna forget

2006-02-04T14:45:00.000+08:00

i am someone whom is easily influence by others. i hate myself for being dunno hw to make choices. i love jackie alot, i know how good he is but cant make the choice to hurt him too.

a ridculous stupid mi

2006-02-03T11:38:00.000+08:00

i had found that i am so stupid, for the time being.. stop all my stupid action, tt i had did for that stupid ***.. even, my lovely bf whom loves mi so much, i didnt care for him as much as i did for tt ***.. why, cause i am very easy to being cheated by him... his sweet talks kill me, i was like now in the la la land, hurting painfully without any help. cause i am the one who should be blamed. who the hell, who ask mi to fall into the silly trap of love. the dating and affection with him, makes mi heart' melt, but kills me to the end. idiotic.

well, he is just another bullshitter, but i just felt ashamed for the shameful stuff i did to him. when, i am broke, no money and sad, ******is alway there for me, out of the loneiness, he is alway the one be there by my side. i really loved him alot, but just didnt cherish him at all.

now, because of the fucking affection by ***, i felt that i had fall into a drain of shameless.

last night, when i meet him. the first thing he asked me is " u patched back with yr ex" i say yeah. then he gives stupid smiles and say wish u happy, as long as u are happy. its ok. so now we remain as friends la. ??????

well, i prefer to being doted by guy, den i do stupid things.

Chinese New Year Finally OVer!

2006-02-02T14:00:00.000+08:00

after waiting upon these days, since christmas holiday(mY most Depressed moment for the year), i think that my life finally came to the next step.

since, End of Nov, my Life had stepped into the most depressed step for the period. the stressing tonnes of my work, and the numerous quarrels with jackie, my life turned to no where. the ways i can vent out my anger, are to shout, scold on people, cry and cry.

i just hope that everything turns out better soon, yet the right time havent arrived yet.

until now, i finally felt that this should be the perfect timing, to drop my worries and stressness to the drain.

my next step for my life is to study hard, and play hard as well.

i planning to go for a holiday, either before april school holiday, or after july, i graduated.

my target is either taipei.. or bang kok.. i must had myself enjoyed well, before everything started.

i supposed to depress myself very much during that enclosed period. the surrounding impact wasnt what i chose. numerous of arguement, had allow me to become more mature. i choose not to befriend with people whom might affected my life. friends are alot, but true ones are few.

Michelle is a good friend of mine, however many of her character is unacceptable to others. people need to know her well enough before liking her. she did help me up alot, however her furious temper will affect me, if i am sad on particular item, i dun think she is a very good person to confront with. cause she cant help..

well, as for lawrence, everything between us is over. my affection on him, lead to a happiness but sad moments. i nv dislike him, but just cherish the moments we spent. because i had learnt to be mature..

thank for jackie overall, he is the guy whom affect me alot now. i must promise him, to quit smoking and stop venting anger on him as well.

thank to everything in my life, they have strengths and weakness. however they had stood on the rite position to guide me through.

I am very happy now. life wasnt as miserable as before. i must live in a environment i will cherish in future

resolution for the year

2006-01-19T23:57:00.000+08:00

i feel that i am just another nobody whom dunno what my life is meant for. my life seem to be engulf with dark clouds and i dunno what i suppose to pursue. i used to be someone whom love myself alot then others. i am now lacking of something there to initialise me to move forward. i am very sad, but nth could be done. i might look strong, but who ever tried to have a knock into my emptiness. people say that i am stupid, but perhap my stupidiness might lead me to a maturity level.

now, i am only 20, i seem to trap myself to no where, whom i, myself, wun be able to know what i am trying to do.

god, please try to help my with decisions and make me be happy again.

treasure what we have nw

2006-01-19T13:50:00.000+08:00

life seem to be boring and people wun tend to cherish what they have now.

like mi, i am very lucky to have everyone that is good to me by my side, alway and forever. they love me, care for me, and give mi everything a girl should have. but i didnt treasure them at all. like my mum and dad, they love me and give mi wat ever they have. they love mi for everything. but i just dun treasure them. jackie is only my only soul companion, a guy whom love mi, throughlly.

hmm, life seemed to go on..

2006-01-03T14:36:00.000+08:00

i am someone whom look highly upon myself. but am i wrong? i not sure.

what jack stated on why i am still wasting money while "she" has already stepped into the society for years, this really hurted my pride. is my years of education are gone to waste, while had myself compared to a person whom had not even complete her secondary education.

it is true, she is someone whom failed her N level or wat, and why i had myself compared with her. i fight for all my right to get into my desired course in Poly.. my determination on education is gone?

i am alway feeling sad, i had no CPF, no saving and nothing, as to had myself compared with someone whom is just" nothing"... where is all my dream? am i alway the one whom awarded the title of best dreamer? lifes has seemed to be very boring. i am now living in an insolated place, with no concern but full with discrimation..

but i can say now is, just wait for 5 years. i will show u everything. bear in mind... if now, it is david or raymond to comment, i will listen, he have the right and qualification to prove, but THEY DUN>>>>

goal for year 2006

2006-01-03T12:12:00.000+08:00

the stupid 2005 had passed. i want to set a new start and goal for my 2006.

seriously suffering depression cant help mi in anything but to get myself fail in whatever i gonna do. this time, it wun be another mistake for me again.

goal for the 2006

* to get a class 3 driving license by the end of this year.
* complete my diploma.
* Sit for SAT
* Retake "O" level English.
* Had a good and well-balanced money management
* Save and earn.

as this gonna be my last year of slacking.

i gonna complete my diploma and this will be my first time getting to face the real situation of how realistic the society is.

without a complete set, i couldnt survive well. to gain anything.

seriously under depression

2005-12-01T01:11:00.000+08:00

no words is better than" depression" to describe my feelings now.

genting trip

2005-10-27T13:01:00.000+08:00

this is my one trip after ten years , without my parental content. we set off from singapore on 19th october'2005, 10.30 pm. the trip lasts about 7 hours. my first official step on genting highlands paced on the next day, 20th october'2005 4.30am. the coach stopped for only twice throughout the whole journey. first for food break at dunno where, and second for a short toliet break which i didnt even bother. the weather in genting is colder than what i expect. i am in cold freeze, after alighting from Genting at the bus terminal. we went to first world hotel to check in but the counter is not even open until 9 am. we collected our no-card and placed our bag in the bag counter. instead of waiting upon the check-in, we went into the casino, starworld. i used joann's IC to enter this premise. luckily, none of the security guard discover this fraud. maybe, i really look alike Joann. that was my first ever time entering a casino, with the minimum entering of age above 21. haha.. i am still 20..

the first day ended fast. we started off with our breakfast in the dim sum restaurant at genting hotel. the service of the waiter there are rather poor. one problem which we couldnt denied was the food(dim sum) was really nice. we reached the hotel at about 9.30 to check in.. the queue was quite fast, we had missed our turn. luckily, this missing turn didnt make us to re-queue again, but to provide the express service of check-in immediately. our room was in the tower2, which was rather further in. the room is quite big too. it is a two- double-sized bed furnished with a sofa, tv set, cupboard, as well as a safe deposit box. most of all, the bathtub is so luxurious. immediately, dearie and me were bathing together to enjoy the relaxing moment.

about 11am, joann and i went to shop around the first world theme park. i bought a keychain(rice pendant) for dear dear costs RM15... joann and i was keep snapping photos of ourselves. the whole genting resort were almost trailed in her camera on her and me. back

latest update

2005-10-18T13:22:00.000+08:00

today is 18th oct.

tml i will go to genting, this is my first trip with my dearie. i am hoping very much upon the day. tml i am not having any class too. i am planning to make the day beneficial. the coach is on tml night, 10-30. jackie say the best choice is to make myself very tired n had a very good sleep on the coach waiting upon reaching the top. planning to have a last min shopping in the afternoon, and accompany dear to go for hair-cut.

back to this

2005-09-01T12:18:00.000+08:00

i still prefer using blogger to blog instead og the friendster blog, which i cannot design my own blog. in this palace, i alway feel comfortable with what i typed and expressed. this is where i belonged with all my friends, moments, and unhappiness.

today is the second last day of my school, and going to have my 1 mth holiday in 2 days. i had a one week vacation and back to work at grasse. having a long holiday without working, seemed to be a suffering mission for me. no work, no money. with money, i could buy alot of things.

fuck man, lost my wallet again and again.
this is the third time, i lost my wallet since last time, couldnt noe why i am alway so careless and forgetful, lost everything here and there. 2 mths ago, i lost my hp, 7610. now i lost my wallet.

7610 killer... stop it.

i had see many people is losing their 7610, three will in bugis push cart. attention pls.
beware of stranger, whom stay around yr cart, they might not be yr customer, but aiming for yr hp..

a long time since then..

2005-07-25T23:02:00.000+08:00

i didnt blog for this time, doesnt mean that i had neglect her, just that this is my busiest-moment in life. the repeated module n failing gpa made me gonna study hard for this sem. FYP is up to due and PP is completing soon with the last presentation at aug. the poster on david has done with glory.

this blogger is where i will place my happiest and saddest moment, and she will never be dying. heard from ah nan, having his own cafe, which planned since 2 years ago. i felt happy for him, as i could see my once-beloved succeeding in his career. as for david, my bitbit.. he was in melbourane having his holiday for the last two weeks. Hope that he could have entertained in that trip.

as for jackie, we alway spend our time together.. meet up everyday, after school, as he is my ah-mat.. send and fetch mi home everyday. he is there whenever i need him.

jackie rulz..

very sian

2005-05-17T22:43:00.000+08:00

i have to plan up many stuff.. so tired

IF

2005-05-16T12:56:00.000+08:00

No one will never will use “if…” whenever they hoped something happened won be exist.
If Ah Nan didn’t left me, are we still together?
If he didn’t went back, could we still as happy as before?
If he is in the normal stream, could I manage to hug him now?

Initially I had dreamt every night hoping the day he left never come; however I managed found my way to discover the destiny: “ IF will never exist”

Same goes with David, if David couldn’t managed to get into QUT, he might be the one whom sheltered me every day and night now.
If I knew that tears are my only companion when David left, I rather chose not to cry.

David was in Australia for about two months, how was his life?

Is he really enjoying the cold weather?
Or he is suffering from the loneliness now?
Or stressing up him for the best result he could obtain?

So now I am, wishing my “IF” will be fulfilled.

David will still here hugging mi through…

the chalet..

2005-05-13T13:04:00.000+08:00

thank jackie for holding the chalet for mi.. though, i am the one who keep forcing him to hold it, he did it just for mi..

the whole day was seem to be packed up.. the whole morning was so tired for me, i washed, packed, and seasoned the seafood. meet up jackie at 4.15 after he go to "dunno where" to collect the satay..

jackie is another kuku, a clone that resembles me. he didnt knew that difference between aloha downtown east and aloha pasir ris.. and ended us turning around the resort for times. reach the resort at 5.

woowoo... first 2 person in the resort.. waiting for others to join.. yet no foods was bought at tt moment. jackie is alway a slow cockroach but a good pacersetter too.. unlike mi, rushing alway but cropped up things everytime. went to 4 places, elias rd, tampines mall, century square, then white sand.. back to chalet at 8.15...

then weiling kept complaint on our wrong timing n remarked tt she must left at 9.30 to go malaysia.. but end up she missed the fun.. haha.. cause she might see """"""" tt day...

haha.. anyway... the chalet was a fun one.. hey, girls let organised one more time... but money must be given.. ok.... !!!!

sentosa trip

2005-04-20T14:14:00.000+08:00

was with eileen througout the whole morning in our singapore's outer island, SENTOSA... i should had to return my keys in the early morning at JP and missed the trip, but eileen's friend, help me to do so instead. thank to him then.... if not, i will not have such a unforgettable trip with my best friend then..

didnt meet up eileen for a very very long time le.....

today is the second day after her exam, and was the last week of my early holiday... so sad, alway had a different holiday table with my friend from other poly..

reach sentoca at about 10.30, and the sun was already blazing tremdously up there. hahah... had our first time wearing BIKINI in the sentosa, Palawan Beach... luckily not much people are strolling there, if not the fabby meat hanging around my tummy was like one of the gems exhibit in the gem-showcase.., eyeing by thousands of them. but one thing i was proud that my busts are big enough to push up my confidence level then...

pack off about 12 noon, as eileen insist not to have her skin tanned. we went to bugis to have our lunch at sketches which we long to have, but the food didnt turned out to be as delicous as we expect.. and dunno chessey stuff in our pasta are suck.s...

about 4 pm, eileen left for her KTV... and i went to find jack... haha... i believe too tt her KTV is a fun one too. while i am suffering in bugis working like a OX...

well, eileen when is our next trip to Wild Wild Wet... we asked more ppl go... dunming, xianying and herbf and anyone... kk.. looking forward... miss ya

Unreasonable Creatures....

2005-04-19T13:47:00.000+08:00

i have my way in managing my stuff. i admitted i wasnt a good organiser in time management, and everything cropped up with my last min stuff. being a last-minute freak, i could only give a last min reply, and a planning wun never be successful one. Friends who understand me will definitely wun force me to give them any promises.

and what is her definition of being a best pal? when she needs you, u must be there for her cause this are called friends. if u wasnt there, you will be a selfish one. once, i given up my sleepness just because to rent her cash for paying for her cab fare during the approaching of the dawning sun. however, this was down to no credit, as these are what friends are for. friends are meant to be there when u needed help and accompanied.

when i gave a advance for 12 hours noted her that our appointment will be cancelled, that is branded as a last minute aeroplane.

to me, should i branded her as a good buddy, she also didnt spare her thought on mi too. Yup!!when i sad, i did approached her. i admitted she is a good friend, but friends werent be there for ranking who came first and last. even if i am not a good buddy to her, i knew that when she need help, to my extent, i will be there for her even in the late night. however she dun cherish my thoughts too. she alway knew how many time she comforted mi, but not how many times i spend on her.

A Brand New Life...

2005-03-11T13:51:00.000+08:00

Last day of my 2nd semester, 2nd year... gonna be a 3rd year student after my 3weeks holiday..

david reminded mi nt to have the same steps he had during his polytechnic life, if not i will be regretted. i neglected his thoughts, and ended up having myself to repeat my module.

i might not be a top-student in my diploma, but at least i could pass all my modules for the past 3 semester.. now ended up with D, E and F.. my first-ever repeated studies..

3 top-killer...

(1)
i failed my english during my Sec2 and ended up in Normal(acad) class..

(2)
Failed my o level with a E8 in english and repeated the english again with a d7 and a score of 19 for my L1R5..

(3)
repeated module-- accounting...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

now, i gonna faced my death toward everything and everyone.

i hadnt been study hard enough for my diploma and ended up this state.

now, my plan is only to pass my repeated module again, and passed..

do everything with my strength n cope with my weakness..

i cant afford to fail my diploma, nt because i dun have money. it is... i cant afford to have my time to waste again.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How to Cope With my Everything nw...(studies, work, friends, and family and Money)

(1)
Sleep early everyday when i had to go to school the next day.. (preferly before 12)
(2)
if working, i must able to finish my RJ before i work.. and after work. go straight home.
(3)
No Supper
(4)
Cant afford to waste time on chatting, coffee-time and clubbing
(5)
budgeting in what i spend (no clothes to buy, no shoes, no bags)
(6)
clubbing only twice a month with a spendage less than $30
(7)
so, basically i wan my lifestyle to be dull
-wake up at 7.30,
-go to school, completing school at 4
-completed my RJ before i left my school
-during school time, tried to attend CE point and be more attentive in class
-during work, tried to make myself awake- no expensive foods during work time(<$5 per meal), no soft-drink, spend only on mineral water no soft-drinks
-after work, no supper
-if meeting friends for supper, reach home before 12 and spend only on foods(<$3 for drink and foods), preferely no supper. only once a week, prefered day(friday, or sat)
-no smoking
-no spending more than $10 in a day, at least buying important thing
-save up to $500 per mth...

bored..

2005-03-04T13:26:00.000+08:00

"boredom"
the only word to describe my numbness

stressed items began to pop into my life. now, i am in a great loss... my modules are failing, i think i could barely pass.. all i aimed are only passes.. no distinction..

apple Dolls

2005-03-01T16:44:00.000+08:00

just recieved my birthday present for this yr, next yr and the yr after from Mr. david lau, 3 apple dolls...( this is what he told mi)

it is almost 2 weeks, since david left. i wonder this cutie chap could adapt in the cold environment in australia. he used to complain alot on the cold breeze that blew through his windows at night. the lacking of fattiness caused him to feel so. a lanky and skinny guy will never complained about how humid and hot the weather is , as he didnt have tt feeling before. Fats protect living things from coldness. am i right to say so?? haha.

5 days since my life changed....

2005-02-22T00:46:00.000+08:00

david had left me for 5days since feb17..

on the very morning, i hoped that the time could move as slow as it could, but i knew it wun. spending my last night in his house, watching dvd- a comedy movie.. then went to sleep about 2am, as we gotta have our breakfast as lor mee, in tb market the next morning. that night was in extreme slience, and i cried, noeing david is leaving me in less than a day.

we planned to wake up at 7pm, but failed. taking bus no. 166 to chinatown for his doctor's prescription after overslept for three hrs. then took bus.no 33 for his last fantastic taste of a bowl of lor mee in our fav. food spot, tb market. by the time we finished, the clock striked 12 noon, knowing david's flight was drawing nearer.

took bus no. 33 to chinatown again, had a bus transfer to parklane for our last Lan game. he taught me starwar battlefield. haha... it was really cool... i never played tt before.. but i believe tt was the last time again...

then look for raymond during his lunch break. (plaza singapore). went to take our last lovegety photos, then back to parklane for our battle again. the second round seemed to be a kinda boring one. then went to serangoon to collect his IC.. that time, the clock show 4.30pm.. we went back his home. helping him for packed up, i took a nap instead.

david left his hse door, about 7.. heading to changi airport with his parents and i tag along.. finished our dinner in changi airport, i see him to the departure hall, asking him whether he wanna say anything. he shook his head. letting him to see mi off instead, cause i knew i would cried. i hold my tears until my hp beeped. sms," you must study hard!!!"

i cried.. the very moment i read. david is leaving mi........... my studies hadnt been good enough to show david, "i could make it", feeling ashamed instead. i promised to study hard too..

cry along the way to bugis. meeting meiting, jackie and ah pui.. my new-made friends( nt included)meiting, i knew her for along.. she is a cute girl, sense of loyalty.. t
hese two new funny characters, perhap is what god bless mi with.. sending this two guys to cheer up my life..

ah pui, is a very very naughty and talkative guys, whom chat non-stop, alway bad stuff. haiz... hope i dun influenced much by him..

jackie is a funny character. he seem to be quiet, when just met.. a guy full of craps, jokes and having a good sense of humour. he has his ways of perspective... perhap, tt is his charm...

both of them, had the four sizes... tall, short, fat and thin.... haha....

sheena

2005-02-15T11:30:00.000+08:00

http://www.livingdeaddolls.com/pictures/series_3/sheena.jpg

i hate liar

2005-02-03T22:46:00.000+08:00

i hate people who cheated me. stupid liar, get off from my sight..

hahaha... this is the last ever friendster reply from david lau in last july...

2005-01-28T21:56:00.000+08:00

maybe this is the last u will hear from me since u dun wan to answer call or reply. cant blame u too. nw u know how aries are like, i'm not using it to shift the blame but wan u to know more or less, i've everything gd and bad of an aries.

still i feel i'm not gd enough for u. dun wish to find u its becoz i will be diam diam infront of ur frens and tats the way i am. okie lah i also dunno what to say. delete me if u wan.

wow... what is the characteristic of an aries???

all while, i hate having an aries as my bf because i am a cancerian... the love match is totally below average and nearly to 0%... i didnt have any bf from aries before.. but i noe having aries as my bf i would suffered from "depression" and headache... haha... until i met david ....

haha... wow, aries is really a romantic person.. caring, cute and funny, having strong-will and lovely... my character is more to childishness, studdorness and idiotic types... to david i am alway childish and like a small kid whom is depending on him...

i think tt for our character-wise, both of us wun suit.. but giving in was the best way for us to hold this till today...

as long as david showered mi his love, care n concern for mi, i just quietly act as a silly girl who love pampered, our dayss will be peaceful and lovely as well as romantic...

but if david wasnt in a good mood, it is better nt to provoke him, wait for him to call mi or his temper to cool down. during his down-mood periods, he will be hush toward everything... if i studdornly disturb him, force him to meet mi.. quarrels sure occurred.. and i am the one who is alway wrong... cause i didnt give in...

however, if i am angry or sad, david wun alway be there for mi.. he would tease mi, jokes with mi, and make stupid faces, as long as, he could make mi smile...

david would alway knoe his limits while i wun... i must make him even frustrated, the situation worsened then i would step-back..

overall, throughout this 7 mths, i learnt alot...

i learn to study hard, aim for my future... and giving in in a simply relationship.. GIVE IN so quarrels could be lessen and relationship will be more lasting...

getting over?

2005-01-27T11:33:00.000+08:00

" pls accept the fact that both of us had already broke up, i dun mind you as a friend. but pls knoe your limit"

this sentence hurted mi alot. heart broken

continued from the below blog??

2005-01-26T09:24:00.000+08:00

my father, request to see him too, he said david is a great guy, and nice guy and a rare piece of jade?? diamond?? or a hunk??

dad is going for operation on 2nd feb, haiz... it is new year season.. dad wasnt in pink of health recently, high blood pressure is one of his major problem.ytd night, he told mi to ask david to pay him a visit.. haha.. it is a long time since david came my hse... cause of a funny incident.. and my dad actually feel sorry for tt incident.. he said he miss david too.. everyone miss david.. included mi...

wow.. i am very happy, this was the first ever time, my dad ask me to bring my bf to pay mi a visit.. as my parents, my father alway dislike my past bfs. he dun like them, even dun welcome them to my hse.. but this time is different...

he requested to see my david, this was his first ever time, he like my bf.. he said," eveen my daughter dun have the fate to be with him.., he hoped he could have better relationships.."

haha... i wonder david would make his last visit to my dad, on 3 feb..?? or earlier??

didnt blog for very long...

2005-01-26T09:02:00.002+08:00

since my laptop sent to hospital, i didnt have much time to blog, attending lesson. etc... i seemed to be a moodless girl, a full time - professional slacker , a kpo-auntie...

now, david is leaving.. and he specified mi to study hard.. and stop slacking...

i bought many many stuffs ytd... my medicine, 3 fila t-shirt, a fila hp-pouch, a OP skirt, a FOX jacket, 2 nike sockes, and david bought mi a pair of sport shoes.. i love it...

new looks, new feeling and new appearance...

i want to change everything... STOP being a slacker anymore... i must change everything now..

things to do::::

attended lesson everyday from today...
stop spending money(stop spending my salary)
dieting( target to 55-60 kg..)
be a strong girl(independent)
change my living styles,
change my appearance..

haha... today. i am in my new groom-up style..

wearing a pink fila-t-shirt( i bought ytd), a demin-skirt, a pair of nike sock, and my brand- new skecher sport shoes.... and with my fila hp-pouch...

haha...
grace saw mi this morning, said... i changed to a better person in looks... better... more japster, and more refreshing...

now i wonder how i looked last time... haiz.. i begged it will be an awful look.

i wanna a new appearance, telling david... i am independent nw and then, thank to him for what he gave mi.. what he told mi, and trained mi... be a better person, david will be happy, coz tt is his efforts.. perhap 4 yr later, he is still single and i had become a pri-school teacher... isnt we are a perfect match.. hahaha...

ytd night, i kept crying, missing him, but i got to stop all this nonsense now. it is shameful, crying wun stop the problem. changing would help.

didnt blog for very long...

2005-01-26T09:02:00.001+08:00

everything is different..

2005-01-25T21:03:00.000+08:00

he was beside me throughout the day, without holding mi.. feeling lost and insecure.. LOVE isnt present at all, cause we are no longer together. Cupid of LOVE missed his shot again. a pair of compatible couple had just left the world of love. so sad.

he is caring, cute, and lovely... but he isnt mine. used to possess, but lost him over a night. is it because of my childishness? OR the world is so merciless?

his hands were alway there, whenever, i am cold, shivering, sad or angry. hugs were used to be there, whenever i need it. but NOW... no more...

whenever i angry or cried, he is there for me, but now he said..."you should learn to be independant, u cant depend on mi anymore."

if i had a chance to hug him again, i will tell him....

" i really really love u alot... dun leave mi alone...."

today, it is my first time, feeling emptiness beside him.. cause... i really lost. i want to hold him but cant.. i want to hug him, lay on his shoulder too

... today... i really fould out tt i really dependent on him alot.. cause without holding him... i feel so sick and tired.. i need his pillow' hand to hug...

love is so realistic...

2005-01-20T10:20:00.000+08:00

everything seemed to be gone....

my love, my moods, my heart, my beloved ones.

chinese new year is coming... i like no mood to enjoy it..

where is my david???

he is going to diminish in my miracle- life....

he hate mi???

i dunno??

he loves mi??

i didnt know it too...???

hi yoz!!

2005-01-10T23:30:00.000+08:00

hihi.. didnt blog out for such a long time.. did u guyzzz miss mi???

many many incidents took place this period...

my laptop was gone, it is spolit...
i promise myself i will nt borrow my laptop to my brother anymore...

i wun be so good again..

having david as my boyfriend is the best present i ever had in my life...

he is excellent. cute. cheeky...

sad..

2004-12-20T23:32:00.000+08:00

i miss him so badly for 3 days..

why he didnt call mi at all...

everyone will having a wonderful christmas

while i have a lonely christmas in 5 days time

i miss him alot..

i need LOVE

2004-12-20T01:31:00.000+08:00

from 16 till nw, i alway cant find the guy tt i want for my entire life..

the criterias i want were really simple:

i need a guy who truly love mi
care for mi
treat mi with care and concern...

the first guy i love in my life is AH nan..

he is a hk guy whom changed my life..
he is an innocent one who give me whatever he could.
he taught me how to love.
he shared what ever he had.

he left mi for his study and this relationship was called off.

the second guy was Song Lin

he is a sinner.
but i love him, i gave him what ever i could.
i love him, as he wasnt the guy i want
he was hot-tempered and i alway forgive him.
but he left cause we arent suitable.

the last guy is David..

he is a cute, innocent and naughty guy.
he treat mi well, care for mi
and whatever i need him, he will be there..
he was the man i dreamt to be my future.
i doubt i was his dream too.

but he left, cause i cant accept betrayal.
he didnt say he love me before, miss mi and like mi.

cause i believe he was unsure about his feeling toward me.
all girls want to hear this words from her loved ones' mouth, yet i didnt have.

he wont say
cause he told me he loved mi with his actions
i noe.
he is what i want yet leaving me.

i want him to be my future, but i believe it wun.
i noe.

david take care... and good luck to yr self...

:>

POOR COMMAND OF ENGLISH

2004-12-14T02:13:00.000+08:00

having poor command of english... have to be insult..???

it wasnt my fault!! everyone want to be prefect. but all have their strengths and weakness.. mine is ENGLISH.. and i never feel so insulted, in my whole life.

Raymond had said tt my english was bad and need to improve, but how.. for mathematics and science, i could improve fornightly, but english how?? having bad english as my weakness had actually made me feel despair, as if everyone is looking down on me..

eileen's english is better than me. but for the friendship of 5 yrs, she didnt insulted me at all, cause she knoe my weakness and strength. she noe i am smart in certain way..

now, the "powderfu" english shows tt i am in a lower standard..

if her english is good, she wouldnt be here to insult me. show mi the ability before shooting me. while if u gonna shoot mi with the D7 standard of english, then fuk off.. i only can accept comments from other who has the "power".. like raymond.. his english is good enough to shoot mi, and tt all...

so stressed up...

2004-12-13T10:00:00.000+08:00

i am fucking stress up with everything right nw... i dunno whether i could able to make up in this semester... i was almost flunged... i work and work till no time for studies and sleepness... why is it so..??? isnt i am kuku.... my career and future are dumped nw to a push cart level... everyday from morning, have to stress how to boost up my sale.. i noe i am ambitious, but why i am straight down there down... working with michelle everyday, pressuried with sale... for wat.. i have to do this... my goal is to be a teacher, a math or science teacher... nw... i dunno whether i could moved myself there.

love to depend on other.. loved ones is leaving.. wat can i do??

hp disaster...

2004-11-30T13:54:00.000+08:00

finally everything was settled..
my hp, and the SCT thingy..

this really give mi a great headache and i promised myself nt to buy anything from any unauthorised dealer.
the incident goes::

i bought a hp(nokia 6600) from this yeow tat trading enterprises, B1-73 at lucky plaza, orchard. together with a brandless bluetooth and a 128 mmc, it costs me $840 in total.

nokia 6600=== $ 489
bluetooth=== $198
mmc=== $168

as i didnt have any experiences from buying hp from these shops. i actually trust him and pay the total sum through net.

the guy told me that purchasing goods using nets, i need to pay extra 1.3% of the total cost and a 5 % GST.

on the same day, itself. i found that there wasnt any warranty tt come with the package and i went back to the detail shop, and he ensure me that having a reciept as a warranty is as good as having the warranty in nokia care centre, having a IME sticker on the reciept is good enough, and they also provided a house-in warranty, so i can also went back to the detail shop for any repair services F.O.C. from what he said, as a sale representative, i believe his words.

about one week, i downloaded a virus and went to the nearest nokia care for repair and they claimed tt mine was a export version, and couldnt get any repair services from nokia care as they might have different software version.

i didnt knoe that it was a export version, with the virus-attacked handphone, i went back to the shop.

the saleman claimed tt he had told mi , it was a export version and i am the one who want mi.
well, if i knew it was a export version and i want it, i wun ask for the warranty again and again.

without any choices, i could only let the shop itself to repair my hp. i wasnt happy, i feel cheated. but nothing i could do, but to wait for my hp to be serviced. then he charged mi for 54.70 for re-formatting.

then i found that the reciept wasnt telly with the amount he told mi. the market price of a 128 mmc is only 50 dollar, and i got it at 168. and so as the bluetooth.

well, although i didnt do any research of the price at first, as a dealer, he couldnt cheated and over charged mi.

first, it was a export version
secondly, he over charged mi
and lastly, he charged mi for the virus cleansing, with warranty valid

such a dishonest dealer, still claimed and started to push the blame on mi.

for the sake of other consumer, if u want to buy any hp, pls aware of this detail shop. they will cheated and made any dishonest dealing, if u are their target.

sad sad sad..

2004-11-24T13:54:00.000+08:00

havent been updating my blog for a long time.

my reasons are
1> my Laptop, kena virus...
dunno wat funny.virus from MSN. worst of all was it automatically send the virus to my friends and they got it too..

2> not free

3> too sad to blog anything..

hmm... feeling very unhappy...

i found out tt i am really very fat...

very fat, so, i wanna slim down now.. but wat is my recipe of dieting.

cut down everything(fat, sweet) i ate.

eve, say i could give 80 out of 100, if i slim down like her..

so, my target is 55kg..

i am very silly, sentitive to words and stuff..

i hate ppl said i am fat, or ugly..

well, i know i am not..

i alway believed tt i got good features..

my eyes is shimmering..

but i am fat..

why, i am fat..??

i dunno..

and because of fatness, i alway lose out to everything.

even my beloved. is going to left mi..

perhap, i am nt pretty, stupid and silly.. and nuisance..

i dun have anything to show..

my english is poor, my figure is bad, my studies is getting bad...

god, i could dun knoe, wat i can do nw.. love is hurts..

when i am in low morale.. i really wants my beloved to care for mi, love mi and be my side when i need him

i am a dependent, lonely girl..

i want a guy whom i could depend on..

and only ah nan, and david could do it.. but both of them, are leaving mi..

ah nan left 2 yr ago.. and david is going to...

and both are for their future, studies and career. and i cant do anything nw to stop them.

i am a no body.. no one love and care..

i feels so sad, that i cant have any guys to love mi..

i really very sad and sick of my life.

things wasnt on my way..

i alway want to have my prefect living styles but i cant have..

when crystal told mi that david was holding someone's hands..

my heart sanks deep into the sea..

i cried and cried..

everything was prefect, i love the life i have..

had a guy to pamper mi, care for mi, but these were no more..

i threatened him to buy stuffs for mi in order to make him love mi and make mi cool down the anger...

but all these are fake...

i dunwan, i want care and concern..

if i wish, i dun wan his bears, his presents and money.

i wants his full=attention.

although he had promised mi that these are pasts... it was a misunderstanding

but i just feels very sad, well, my heart was like a vase, once broken, it is hard to seal back..

i really dunno what i can do. i cant say i love him

cause i noe i dont.

i just love his accompany

i just love his care and concern..

i nv ask myself whether i love him before, cause i hate to love, love is hurts

but this didnt mean i dun care for him..

he is my bf, where his status i might concerned.

because i am attached, i seldom flirt, play around and recognised tt i am attached..

why i am doing this, without loving him.

cause if i flirt, i feels like betraying him.

i commited in as to be fair nt wants him for life.

i recognised tt i am attached cause david is treating mi good, and i cant betrayed him by telling ppl i am single..

but i cant imagine that he actually did all this behind mi.

this actually lose my trust and faith to tis relationship.

he say he wun, and ask mi nt to cry and nosey about this matter but, hw could i nt..

i cant, cause..

i knoe he cares for mi , shower mi with care. but i wonder why he did it behind my back.

it is unfair for me..

if he wasnt serious with mi, den stop treating mi with his goods

then i wun fall into his traps.

he is cunning, nw holding his hands i feel awesome.

i scare to have AIDS, although holding hands could nt transmited these..

but who knoe he didnt do any thing behind my back

well, only fools wun do anything after a movies and somemore it is a raining night. and taking cab is expensive. and moreover both are mature adults. perhap i over-tht but wat can i do.

i have lose my supporting pillar and i am about to fall down. falling down was only to make mi hurts.

i wished everything was like before, but i noe i cant.

i wan to get rid of the casting shadow in my hearts, but how??

so hurt...

2004-11-21T01:27:00.000+08:00

everything wasnt on my side...

i am so hurt, painful and helpless..

i was ditched by my bf..

he hurts mi so much...

2004-11-11T08:58:00.000+08:00

Message: Daniel and Jasmine are sitting alone in the parkone night....

Daniel: I guess we are the left overs in thisworld

Jasmine: I think so...All of my friends haveboyfriends and we are only the 2 persons leftinthis world with out any special person in our life

Daniel: Yup I don't know what to do

Jasmine: I know! We'll play a game

Daniel: What game?

Jasmine: i'll be your girl friend for 30 days andyouwill be my boy friend

Daniel: That's a great plan in fact i don't have nothing to do much this following weeks...

DAY 1:They watch their first movie and they both touched in a romantic film

DAY 4:They went to the beach and have a picnic...

Daniel and Jasmine have their quality time together

DAY 12:Daniel invited Jasmine to a circus and they rideon a Horror House....Jasmine was scared andshe touched Daniel's hand but she touchedsomeone else's hand and they both laughed...

DAY 15:They saw a fortune teller down the road andtheyasked for their future advice and the fortunetellersaid: "My darling, Please don't waste the timeofyour life...SPend the rest of your time togetherhappily" Then tears flow out from the teller'seyes

DAY 20:Jasmine invited Daniel to go to the hill and theysaw a meteor...Jasmine mumbled something

DAY 28:They sat on the bus and because of a bumbyroadJasmine gave her first kiss to Daniel byaccident

DAY 29:11:37pm

Jasmine and Daniel sat in the park where theyfirst decided to play this game...

Daniel: I'm tired Jasmine...Do you want anydrinks? I'll buy you one.. I'll just go down theroad

Jasmine: Apple Juice that's allDaniel: Wait for me....

20mins later... a stranger approached Jasmine

Stranger: Are you a friend of Daniel?

Jasmine: Why yes? What happened?

Stranger: A reckless drunken driver ran overdaniel and he is critical in the hospital

11:57pm
The doctor went out of the emergency room and
he handed out an apple juice and a letter

Doctor: We found this in daniel's pocket

Jasmine reads the letter and it says:

Jasmine, This past few days, i realized you are a really cute girl and i am really falling for you..Your cherish smile your everything when we played this game..... Before this game would end...I would like you to be my girl friend for the rest of my life....
I love you Jasmine....

Jasmine crumples the paper and shouted:"Daniel ! i don't want you to die... I love you...Remember that night when we saw ameteor, I mumbled something... I mumbled that I wish we would be together forever and neverendthis game. Please don't leave me Daniel.... Iloveyou! You cannot do this to me!"Then the clock strikes 12Daniel's heart stop pumping

THEN IT WAS THE 30TH DAY

******************************************************************************************************************************************************************Always love your loved ones and show them how you feel before it is too late...You will never know when they will be gone from your embrace... Ifyou were given a time to bestow petals of everlasting compassi0n and love to your love dones? Today is the day....Love them while theyare still here...

finally, i bought one.

2004-11-05T13:59:00.000+08:00

i wanna to buy a new hp for a very long time.

however, got no money.. saving so hard for it.

finally had bought one ytd.

i am choosing between 7610 and other camera phone.

i want 7610, cause it is new cool and stylo. however, i dun think it is user-friendly

it is expensive, and the memory is ex..

i got the cheapest price of 729 for a new set of 7610... at lucky plaza

however, raymond say the main point is budget, instead of trends.

so... i last time changed my ideas of getting a new 7610.

6600, 3660, E700A are all choices.

so, i got back the same hp shop and want to buy from there.

my 6600..

then i felt kena cheated, it costs 498 without ear-piece and memory card. everything is nt included..

then, my dearie, rabbit bought for me a 128mb mmc and bluetooth, they cost him 300+..

i felt so guilty.

cause i just had a fight with him a few days ago.
unexceptly, he bought me these. i am very very happy..

he say this are all for our 4th mth** anniversary.., haha

know what i bought for him... a giordano long-sleeves t-shirt, and he wore it ytd, he looks cool in it, although it is nth compared to bluetooth and mmc..

although, i was CHEATED but dear dear had replaced my loss...

complicated attitudes..

2004-11-03T01:22:00.000+08:00

angels and devils..

Fate had brought us along.. however, destiny had spilt us apart.

i know everYthing u had Done..

i Could see , hear and sensed the entirety

stuffs we shared are significantly marked..

i am in fault, to hurted u once again.. with my suspicious thoughts.

my sins had made me regretted for what i had done.

loneliness had brought me to suspect you and hurted u once and twice..

however, pleasant memories we had for Eternity, i Nv Thought of..

How sweet and lovely they were.

sOrry

in a crossroad..

2004-10-25T13:26:00.000+08:00

sometimes i am in a blue blue sky, sometime i am in a fantasy land.. red, orange, yellow, green blue, violet and pink... mixed colours to describe my feelings.. blue= moody, pink= cute, red=furious, violet= hyper active..

i miss my KTV days... haha. so i went last wednesday with my lover to K box. ladies nights... at first, we went to go cck kBox, however the air-con is spolit so we have to shift to jurong east.. from 9, we sang to 2.30.. non-stop thoughout for both of us. had sang many many songs, duet ones too.

i promised myself not to have any more supper again, but my promises failed failed every night. i must stop it. my pig's nose is going to reveal.

helloween day is coming. no celebration cause i didnt celebrate this event before. however, i alway wonder if i had a chance to buy a costumes, what i would buy..

haha.. a pinky pig.. is just nice for mi.. or a xiao rou bao... this is what my dear called mi.

isnt us the best couple in singapore, both different size, different character, different thinking too.. ahha.. if there is a "singapore idol" for best couple, i will sure go for it..

i had a wonderful sat too, finally i had a off day on saturday after so many weeks and months.. i bought many stuff.. and my blush.. i love it..

my dear did bought for himself hair-dye. haha.. new hair-style. so cute and love.. but i only saw his hair at night. i wonder during daytime, hw it was like..

a BLUE forever's friends BEAR..

2004-10-24T20:27:00.000+08:00

Just got a gift.. BLUE BEAR.. so lovely.. it is so expensive, i wun bear to spend so much on this.. although i loved it alot.

illness... faster go AWAY..

2004-10-19T14:04:00.000+08:00

have been feeling unwell since last friday.

sore throat..

flu..

but, luckily no fever yet.. if not i will be in My la la land now.. recovering my sickness.

nowaday, my health rate is really weak, get sick very easily..
===========================================================

Now idling in class.. left not many people in our class.

today the fac was giving AP and everyone just left.

whose fault?
......................................................

after school, i dunno what i can do.. very tired. go home and sleep seem to be boring.. wat i can do??

What are the most important steps to a healthy diet?

2004-10-18T22:52:00.000+08:00

Although there are different food pyramids for you to choose from, the challenge is to pick one, then create an eating plan that embraces healthy food. No matter which specific diet or pyramid you choose, the basic steps to good nutrition come from a diet that:
helps you either lose weight or keeps your BMI in the "healthy" range
is balanced overall, with foods from all groups, with lots of delicious fruits, vegetables, and grains

is low in saturated fat and cholesterol and moderate in total fat intake (less than 10 percent of your daily calories should come from saturated fat, and less than 30 percent of your daily calories should come from total fat)
includes a variety of grains daily, especially whole grains, a good source of fiber
includes enough fruits and vegetables (a variety of each, five to nine servings each day)
has a small number of calories from added sugars (like in candy, cookies, and cakes)
has foods prepared with less sodium or salt (aim for no more than 2,400 milligrams of sodium per day, or about one teaspoon of salt per day for a healthy heart)
does not include more than one drink per day (two drinks per day for men) if you drink alcoholic beverages

my feeling that didnt revealed...

2004-10-18T21:02:00.000+08:00

Now, only a word “mood less” could describe my feeling.

I am so sick and tired, though “tired” is always come out from my mouth.

Didn’t go out for quite some time. Didn’t have my shopping spree yet... I still got thingy to buy.

Couldn’t get someone understand mi well enough.

Am I so self-centered???

I never spare my thought on him?

It was like the second time after three-month plus…

The second time he didn’t give in.

I always took him on grudges

He will give in always but not this time

Why?

He didn’t hug mi much

He didn’t kiss mi much

He didn’t show how he loves mi

All he shows is concern and care... but no much “LOVE” No much body language...

I am someone who loves being doted like all girls.

boring school vacation

2004-10-14T09:01:00.000+08:00

school reopens!!!

i didnt felt that i ever had a holiday before this.

work! work ! work!

the moment, i was given a off-day, i slept..

nw, i work at weekends...

Weekdays.. i should be free...

but nw... i have to study.. school has reopens!!!

i didnt hav time to enjoy..

no time for shopping

no time for chill out..

no time for havin the food i loved.

i longing to go vienna restaurant since, i got my pay..

bt no TIME...

everything seemed to be packed up together.....

set mi free....

clubbing...

2004-10-11T22:00:00.000+08:00

Initially I thought told clubbing were just entertainment for youngster to enjoy during weekend.
However, in the few visits with my friends, I found that all of their motives were to get free sex.

Girls tend to loose. Guys hunting for preys.

Living in the modern city, people had become open-minded. Changing bf/gf was like normal clothes... aren’t true.

Having sexy pole dancing would attract more guys.

Obstreperous beats of techno kept influenced by pulse beats.

Different backgrounds of chiongsters were dancing in the jammed dancing stage.

Fights were crashed out in the mess.

I always believed that clubbing steadies wouldn’t last long; guy would only look for a decent girl for long-lasting and serious relationship, and not chiongster as an ideal partner.

I loved clubbing initially, dancing and shaking with the gulp of house pour. The beats were fantastic. It beats up to the high point of desire.

However, I don’t feel so again. Clubbing is complicated.

I loved nature. Instead of spending my Saturday and money with that music, I rather spend my night enjoying the sea breezes and moonlight...

guys..

2004-10-11T21:44:00.000+08:00

e cru·el·est creature in e world...
nosey...
sucky...
nuisance...
concupiscent...
nauseate...

when they want to screw u, they would say u are as pure and pretty as an ANGEL..
when they finished, they would say u are "SICKENING"..

guy are crooks.. decieving creaturess.

isnt' it true..

2004-10-08T12:06:00.000+08:00

homemade "godiva" chocolate by clairezz

2004-10-08T12:02:00.000+08:00

a delication to someone i loved...

finally, i had a good rest..

2004-10-06T23:34:00.000+08:00

yummyzz..

finally, i had slept more than 15 hr and the restoring power is there now. after watching the young and dangerous part1 at 12mid, i went in to my dreamland, i was so fucking tired after working continuously.. woke up at 10plus in the morning with the disturbance made. just felt that i was still very tired. however, i got to set my pace off as ton of things were upon my waiting. our first destination was toa poyah hawer centre.. my breakfast was the famous hokkien mee, it is yummy but too oily.. then we set off to BV mrt, i was there because of the mishap that falls on mi last monday. MY WALLET WAS LOST. and now i had to make the replacement wif a fee of $21. our third destination is tanjong pagar market, however we didnt found what we want, and i happened to see a POSB bank and there i made my second replacement : my POSB atm card. then our last destination is suntec carrefour, there we bought our dinner. then... stopped nearby at sin ming and had our lunch, e hokkien mee, we are finding the odds between both stalls. and finally our ans is......

and back hm, i had another show, young and dangerous 2, it was artistic and the violence is powerful after the show finally i went in and contiune my second journey in my la la land.

after 2 to 3 hr, i suddenly woke up for my dinner cause i felt hungry, and after the meal, i continue to sleep again.. so throughout the whole day, i had slept up to 15 or more hr, however, i am still tired nw .. hw?

so this is how i spend my day...

sianationzzz

2004-10-01T01:35:00.000+08:00

i am so tired again... work.. work.. and work...all my modules grades arent good.. very sad.

wat a BAD day...

2004-09-28T01:18:00.001+08:00

it is really a bad day for mi.. suck man.. i lost my wallet and the sale for today is damn idiotic.. i wanna cried out.. but no lending shoulders for mi.. it is really "suai".. luckily, before i lost my wallet, i bought the mai mai sheep cushion. if nt, i will sure cried out loud.. it was the one i wanna bought it mth ago, and finally i got it.. bingo.. even though i lost my wallet, i had a gift today.. for someone special to mi.. a wireless mouse for my lappy. and it costs 39.90 for tt small items it is damn ex sia..

a bday present from bitbit was gone. :(

today i gained..:

a mouse, care and concern and most of all.. my mai mai sheep

today i lost..:

my bday present for this yr, my money, my atm card, ez link card and my sale..

i still very sad... how???????

so tired...

2004-09-25T11:55:00.000+08:00

the only words to create my feelings is "i am damn tired..." i didnt really sleep well nowaday.. and have to work non-stop for the next whole week... so i dunno hw i am going to tolerate this.. but no choice cause of the "money" haaha... this is what a student like mi would think... i am also too lazy to update my blog.. and.. dun worry.. i will make sure i will keep mi blog updated.. haha

haunting by bad memories..

2004-09-20T23:54:00.000+08:00

i dun really understand myself.. i hate myself for wat i am tt time, i had lose my everything.. girl's diginity, care, love and things i deserved to have intially. knowing david is a bless to mi, he had changed mi.. to wat i am nw. in 1/2 yr ago, i was just like a clean and white paper, nth had written on it. eventually, i started to ruin myself, i started smoking, clubbing, and many many thing happened to mi.. i hate myself for being so useless. i am used to be brave and strong.. i could actually managed things well. suddenly, just gonna changed like that. i feel aimless, hopeless and nth and no one could be my side. i know myself.. i had asked eileen that time, who i am to her.. she said that i was a strong-willed, and an ambitious one. she said what ever i want, i will moved myself toward my goal. i am sure she isn't flattering mi. cause i am confident in whatever i did. now i just felt so hopeless, i knew i had changed.

overall, i am just a normal girl, i need care and love. i need someone to shower mi wif love. only he could do it. i am only a girl, a 19 yr old girl. i tends to cry easier n needs someone to be my sides whenever i need him. i seldom shown out my true feelings to people until i meet them. and i had already forget hw messy, my past is... i hate myself for the hw i ruin my life in the last 6 mth before i meet my bf... and now suddenly all the bad memory haunted mi back again...

pls stopped interupt my life, i wanna leads a peaceful life then..

What Is Love?

2004-09-17T16:12:00.000+08:00

Everyone has an opinion on love, but few are brave enough to define it. This universal and apparently inconsistent emotion seems almost incapable of definition.

Biomatch definition of love is:
The affinity experienced between two people who are naturally able and willing to tune into one another's emotional, intellectual, and physical states - and respond to them in a nurturing and a stimulating way.It's a mouthful that demands explanation. What is it that makes us 'willing' and 'naturally able' to love?Let's start at the beginning - at the moment when someone new turns us on. Being 'turned on' is the immediate reason why we become willing to love someone. It's our response to their observable qualities.But now we're on a journey into the unknown. The person that we think we see in front of us could well be a million miles from the person we are about to get involved with. We may walk in willing, but there's no guarantee that we'll end up loving.The problem is that compatibility, the key ingredient for a long term successful relationship, lies hidden from view. If we could choose compatible partners by their outer characteristics, few relationships would fail.

it is cools man...

2004-09-17T16:04:00.000+08:00

haha.... i alway sat in front of the com, to edit my blog and now finally, i got my completed and prefect blog le... very happy...

ltr i gt to meet huiling for chalet... haiz... nowaday, as dear dear.. has to work.. we seldom go out le, all i did is to disturb his sleepness to accompany mi... hahaha.... he was on his games just nw while i was sleeping.. and nw i woke up, i gonna disturb him again.... >.<

Heavy Pour..

2004-09-16T07:15:00.000+08:00

Nw lying on bed... seeing my dear dear sleeping with his mouth open-wide.. today is the first day day of holidays and ltr i got to work too.. so tired... life seemed to be meaningless, i got to work and sleep, then work and sleep..
it is heavy rain outside.. i keep updating my blog, changing and deleting again n again.. i want a perfection on my blog.. with everything and ideas i want... so ma fan...